Tuesday, December 24, 2002
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!
How happy have I been over the last couple of days?
I think it is impossible for me to find the right words to explain it.
My brother is here and I can't seem to stop hugging him. He will be casually walking by the room and I find myself jumping up and tackling him to the ground...
We are getting along famously, as though he has never left, and last night there was a definite brother/brother gang up on the parents as we were playing a game of cards. Having my family all back together is the best gift I could have gotten this Christmas. Everyone is in GREAT moods and there hasn't been even a second of grief or frustration.
So far, this has been just about the best holiday ever.
Last night we put up our Christmas tree and I gave my parents my "special" gift. Giving my parents access to my journal was one of the riskiest and most perfect thing I could have ever done. After some tears were shed and some explanations were given, my family and I had the most intense and introspective conversation about my gay lifestyle. We exchanged our fears, our confusion, and and and!!!!!
And I never felt so good about being me ever in my life before.
My family loves me so much and it is apparant in everything that they do.
While I was feeling some apprehension about showing them some of my most private writings, they took it all with grace and wonder and I sit here today feeling as though I made the best and right decision.
They respect me and they are here for me.
What else could a gaylord like me ask for?
My mom also got Paul a gift and that was just about the sweetest thing anyone could have ever done. She truly does care. A great deal.
We played cards and drank booze (my mom sucking down the pot as though it was water) until the wee hours of the morning and then I passed out and experienced the most amazing night's sleep I have had since before I started at the Gap.
Today is CHRISTMAS EVE and we have MUCH planned.
My granny should be here within the hour and tonight we have some friends coming over. We will drink and laugh and share funny stories. We have about a thousand traditions and if we don't get started early, we will never accomplish them all. Lord knows we have to be in bed by midnight...Santa gets in around 1:30am and we must be fast asleep....
I have gone MUCHLY overboard in my purchases for my family. I just got back from the mall. I didn't necessarily NEED to buy more things, but what's a Christmas without me going to Crossgates and picking up a few last minute items. I saw just about everyone I went to highschool with and HOW PROUD did I feel when I explained to the few I talked to that I live in NYC and am just home for a couple of days...
"Oh Joe, we MUST get together before you go back"...
"Oh (insert highschool asshole's name here), you see...I just don't care about you anymore. See you never."
HA.
Back to NYC I go.
Tomorrow is a big day.
Presents and dinner and playing with all of my new toys. I have a feeling that my parents have really gone out on a limb for me this year. They do every year anyway, but this year....
This year I might be a bit embarrassed at their generosity.
Good. This bitch is poor and needs some new shit!
Tomorrow night, Mariah, Kelly, my brother, and maybe a few other randoms, will join me in going to the "Power Company", one of Albany's biggest and most ridiculous gay clubs. We will dance and drink Christmas night away and to be honest...I just can't wait. It feels SO good to show off my hot self at the club. Knowing that I will have some hot people with me to do the same thing make me gets jitters of excitement.
Time to take over the scene I tell ya!
I guess that's it for now...
I don't know if anyone will be reading this, but if you do...MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The only thing that would make this flawless is if Paul could be here with me.
Miss that booger like nothing else.
When he left yesterday morning, he sat and stared at me for about 10 minutes not speaking. I sat there doing the same.
Finally he said: "Joe, I just love you so much. I see you every day, yet I can't get over the fact that I have to spend the next week without you. You are the most important thing in my life."
I sat there stunned and said: "Could you make sure to lock the front door when you leave?"
NICE ONE JOE!
I did tell him I loved him. And I do miss him tremendously. It just feels so good that he cares so deeply about me. We really are finding our niche in this relationship and I feel incredibly happy and contented with where we are at right now.
HERE IS TO A BEAUTIFUL AND GREAT WEEK! No WORK! No having to deal with shithead customers at the GAP! NO NOTHING I DON'T WANT TO DO UNTIL JANUARY 2nd!
FUCKING ROCK!
MERRY CHIMMA! (As my granny would put it!)
Oh and Rita...we miss you tremendously. My parents read your card over and over this morning and my dad welled up with tears. Thank you for being you.
And by the way...did you get your RING yet???????????????????????????????
Off to play with my family some more!
Enjoy!
How happy have I been over the last couple of days?
I think it is impossible for me to find the right words to explain it.
My brother is here and I can't seem to stop hugging him. He will be casually walking by the room and I find myself jumping up and tackling him to the ground...
We are getting along famously, as though he has never left, and last night there was a definite brother/brother gang up on the parents as we were playing a game of cards. Having my family all back together is the best gift I could have gotten this Christmas. Everyone is in GREAT moods and there hasn't been even a second of grief or frustration.
So far, this has been just about the best holiday ever.
Last night we put up our Christmas tree and I gave my parents my "special" gift. Giving my parents access to my journal was one of the riskiest and most perfect thing I could have ever done. After some tears were shed and some explanations were given, my family and I had the most intense and introspective conversation about my gay lifestyle. We exchanged our fears, our confusion, and and and!!!!!
And I never felt so good about being me ever in my life before.
My family loves me so much and it is apparant in everything that they do.
While I was feeling some apprehension about showing them some of my most private writings, they took it all with grace and wonder and I sit here today feeling as though I made the best and right decision.
They respect me and they are here for me.
What else could a gaylord like me ask for?
My mom also got Paul a gift and that was just about the sweetest thing anyone could have ever done. She truly does care. A great deal.
We played cards and drank booze (my mom sucking down the pot as though it was water) until the wee hours of the morning and then I passed out and experienced the most amazing night's sleep I have had since before I started at the Gap.
Today is CHRISTMAS EVE and we have MUCH planned.
My granny should be here within the hour and tonight we have some friends coming over. We will drink and laugh and share funny stories. We have about a thousand traditions and if we don't get started early, we will never accomplish them all. Lord knows we have to be in bed by midnight...Santa gets in around 1:30am and we must be fast asleep....
I have gone MUCHLY overboard in my purchases for my family. I just got back from the mall. I didn't necessarily NEED to buy more things, but what's a Christmas without me going to Crossgates and picking up a few last minute items. I saw just about everyone I went to highschool with and HOW PROUD did I feel when I explained to the few I talked to that I live in NYC and am just home for a couple of days...
"Oh Joe, we MUST get together before you go back"...
"Oh (insert highschool asshole's name here), you see...I just don't care about you anymore. See you never."
HA.
Back to NYC I go.
Tomorrow is a big day.
Presents and dinner and playing with all of my new toys. I have a feeling that my parents have really gone out on a limb for me this year. They do every year anyway, but this year....
This year I might be a bit embarrassed at their generosity.
Good. This bitch is poor and needs some new shit!
Tomorrow night, Mariah, Kelly, my brother, and maybe a few other randoms, will join me in going to the "Power Company", one of Albany's biggest and most ridiculous gay clubs. We will dance and drink Christmas night away and to be honest...I just can't wait. It feels SO good to show off my hot self at the club. Knowing that I will have some hot people with me to do the same thing make me gets jitters of excitement.
Time to take over the scene I tell ya!
I guess that's it for now...
I don't know if anyone will be reading this, but if you do...MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The only thing that would make this flawless is if Paul could be here with me.
Miss that booger like nothing else.
When he left yesterday morning, he sat and stared at me for about 10 minutes not speaking. I sat there doing the same.
Finally he said: "Joe, I just love you so much. I see you every day, yet I can't get over the fact that I have to spend the next week without you. You are the most important thing in my life."
I sat there stunned and said: "Could you make sure to lock the front door when you leave?"
NICE ONE JOE!
I did tell him I loved him. And I do miss him tremendously. It just feels so good that he cares so deeply about me. We really are finding our niche in this relationship and I feel incredibly happy and contented with where we are at right now.
HERE IS TO A BEAUTIFUL AND GREAT WEEK! No WORK! No having to deal with shithead customers at the GAP! NO NOTHING I DON'T WANT TO DO UNTIL JANUARY 2nd!
FUCKING ROCK!
MERRY CHIMMA! (As my granny would put it!)
Oh and Rita...we miss you tremendously. My parents read your card over and over this morning and my dad welled up with tears. Thank you for being you.
And by the way...did you get your RING yet???????????????????????????????
Off to play with my family some more!
Enjoy!
